JOKE OF THE DAY - SHORT JOKES

Many a great man has been given credit as originator of this cynical sentiment:

"The more I see of men, the more I respect dogs."

SHORT JOKES DIPLOMACY

The lady of uncertain age simpered at the gentleman of about the same age who had offered her his seat in the car.

"Why should you be so kind to me?" she gurgled.

"My dear madam, because I myself have a mother and a wife and a daughter."

SHORT JOKES DEFINITION

The schoolboy, after profound thought, wrote this definition of the word "spine," at his teacher's request.

"A spine is a long, limber bone. Your head sets on one end and you set on the other."

SHORT JOKES DANGER

One foot in the grave, and the other slipping.

SHORT JOKES CHRISTMAS

A political boss wished to show his appreciation of the services of a colored man who possessed considerable influence. He suggested to the darky for a Christmas present the choice between a ton of coal and a jug of the best whiskey.

The colored man spoke to the point:

"Ah burns wood."

* * *

Santa Claus inserted an upright piano, a fur dolman, a Ford, and a few like knick-knacks in the Chicago girl's stocking. When he saw that it was not yet half filled, he withdrew to the roof, plumped down on the snow, and wept bitterly.

SHORT JOKES CARELESSNESS

The housemaid, tidying the stairs the morning after a reception, found lying there one of the solid silver teaspoons.

"My goodness gracious!" she exclaimed, as she retrieved the piece of silver. "Some one of the company had a hole in his pocket."

Short Jokes

The new soda clerk was a mystery, until he himself revealed his shameful past quite unconsciously by the question he put to the girl who had just asked for an egg-shake.

"Light or dark?" he asked mechanically.

Short Joke

Teacher: "In which of his battles was King Gustavus Adolphus of Sweden slain?"

Pupil: "I'm pretty sure it was the last one."

Short Jokes

"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."

"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"

"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."